My Ode to Love

Sober or tipsy no matter how much time passes.
 If forever is never and I don't ever get my happily ever after.
I'll love you infinity times two and be grateful just for the day
I met you my always and forever. In the words of
 Erika Badu I guess I'll see ya next life time. #loveis😍 😚💓

Je T'aime 💓

Gratitude

God's blessings abound in many ways...
waking me up at the start of a brand new day.
sight to see all the beauty that surrounds me. Grace and mercy
to sustain me along the days journey.

Silent Pain

They hear but are they actually listening

Silence so loud it's deafening

Scars invisible to the naked eye

Covering the truth with polluted lies
Camouflaging the hurt
bandaging the pain all the while
going insane.

Reality

REALITY

Need a break from my reality. If only I could pack my bags, have a full tank of gas and put the pedal to the medal never thinking twice about looking back. Reality strikes yet another hard blow knocked down hard blood visible staggering on the rise.  Having no definite plan this should come as no surprise. Over a decade of defeat got more years behind than ahead of me.  Wasted so much time stuck here in this territory of my commonplace it's hard to even fathom leaving, but it is most definitely time for a change of scenery yet what do you do when your broke and have no resources to resort to??? This definitely wasn't how it was suppose to be and it's totally driving me crazy!!!! In need of an escape from my reality!!!!

Rant...

D*mned if I do and d*mned if I don't... just d*mned.
This novella h*lla long and I'm tired of hearing the same ole
sad song.
Trapped like a mouse in a maze dead end at every turn.
This scenery is way to familiar.
Helllllooooo echos back because nobody really hears me.
Pent up frustration volcanic tendencies. What would happen if I
would actually have a melt down???
 I can put on a facade with the best of them yet
deep down inside rage, hurt and pain are festering.
Who really authentically cares?

Day-3~ Personal Writing Challenge~ Victories Reply

Victories Reply

Came face to face with this situation before.

Went from closed door to closed door.

It’s hard to shout in the hallway

when feeling down trodden and

in a state of dismay.

Ambitions fade as photographs

left in the sun to long.

Over and over the answer comes

back just be strong.

Made it this far just can’t

quit now It won’t be this way forever.

Keep pressing forward don’t

look back, where feelings of doubt

creep in to create a stumbling block,

bruised knees and all prove them wrong.

So go check the back of the book once again

because in the end victory reigns it’s

a win win!!!

~PoetikDiva~(c)2016

Day-2 ~Personal Challenge~ Pains Response

Pains Response

Pain intensified camouflaged with a smile
All the while festering deep down in the abyss
amplifying echoing against the darkened hallows
suppressed by a ballad covering up tearful arias
A heaviness straining to breach the restraint that
conflicts with the chorus that resounds from within
the confines that desolation tried to leave.
~PoetikDiva~ (c)2016

Reflections

Reflections

Memories vast overflowing sprinkled with mementos
summers laced with Dixie cups and camp fire sing a longs
carefree disposition untainted wandering
A time when bonds were strong.
Childhoods flame blazes rekindled by
picturesque reflections.

Day-1 I write~ Personal Challenge

Cheers 

With this glass I raise a toast
Not trying at all to boast
This ones for me as I celebrate
the woman I am and the woman I
I strive still to be.
Drinking from this bitter sweet glass of life
I take this journey all in stride
I've been met with heartache and
some pain thought I'd never
see the light at the end of
the tunnel ever again.
Experienced dark clouds hovering,
that feeling of loneliness that seemed
never ending.
Still I press forward with hope
for it's the only way that
I can cope.
I won't give up just yet because
there is more in store for me
greater than I could ever
imagine it to be.
So I raise my glass and savor
every drop.
Cheers to me, cheers to life and
to this invaluable journey...
~PoetikDiva~(c)2016

Erotic Interlude

Dreamed you last night, so real right here next to me.

Felt you last night  deep within my oceans waters, discovering

new boarders rising with each wave of ecstacy.

I let go last night released all my inhibitions, not

concerned about the consequences just suspended in

the moment here and now.

Having no regrets just riding this erotic current.

Awakened last night to find it was an illusion

an impassioned fantasy.

Took a moment to reflect how I 

desire you intensely.

~poetik diva~

 

The War Within

Staring at the blank page reflections playing a game of twister with my psyche.
Sometimes I consider shhhh... don't think it because it may leave feelings of dread.

It's complicated the response would be don't have time for no whoa is me monology.

Out of tune with this charade frolicking unrelentingly monopolizing this deliberation.
Ferocity bawling silently confined to a muted cyclone
trapped merciless in a  restrained collaboration.
Invades the quest on the threshold en route to being steered into hysteria.
Interrupted by the urgency to prevail in defiance of conflicts magnification.

Remedy

This is my sanity

pen and pad my substance choice

free verse my remedy

constructing the framework

to a refrain destined to leave an impression

inevitable consequence the next hit sends

awareness soaring, unfolding, altering the minds

interpretations.

Musing

                     

 That Moment

The first glimpse underneath the starry nights sky.
It was just a simple tranquilizing feeling and I was fated 
to find out why.
Just before the drizzle finally we intertwine no certain space no recollection of time.
Rain pours saturating and the shower seems never ending as
we play for a while then become drenched in this enticing affair.
~It's Poetik~
Poetik Diva 3-4-16

The Scene

I wish the scene had played out differently.  This saga has become quite lengthy. What would the plot twist have been? Would prince charming have saved me not now, but way back then? Could I have done anything different in the last twenty years that would have made this chronicle an award winning cinematic hit.  This was not how I imagined the scene playing out and had I known I would have yelled cut with a boisterous shout. The setting wasn't quite right, the leading man not in place and the cast of characters most have left without a trace.  Then I realized I wasn't the writer of this script though I want to control how it ends.  I have to place it all in the Master Directors hands because He knows how the scene unfolds when I can't even comprehend.  It may be taking longer than I expected it to, but certain things take time to be refined and when the moment is right maybe 5, 10, or 30 years down the line when His hand is on it the wait is worth it...

Ranting: Just a thought

In a moment in the twinkling of an eye... I don't have time to worry about who likes me and who doesn't.  I don't have time to worry about what people think about me. I don't have time to worry about who likes my status, who follows me on the gram or who retweets my tweets stopped worrying about those numbers above that world up there a long time ago.  I don't have time to worry about if Mr. Right or Mr. Right on time will find me. I don't have to worry about friend request or how many friends I have on social media because half of them or more I can delete and I'm sure they wouldn't even miss me.  I don't have time to worry about a milli a milli or having ripped abs like the cover of fitness magazine. I don't have time to worry about so many other things I could write a memoir. I don't have time to worry about this or that or what I regret or having kids by the time I turned 40. I don't have time to worry about my bank account or people walking in and out of my life. My focus is on have I shown love, have I been a light, am I pleasing in His sight, what have I done for Him lately, what am I doing to make me better wholisticly, have I shown kindness, am I living each day to the full. I don't have time for such and such or who has my back because I know If He's for me it's more than the world against and I'm to busy working on becoming a better me!!!#worktodo #onlyaccountableforLoQi #growth #Pressingforwardin2016 #rantings

I want to be clutter free

Work to do...

 I feel like I could make it on an episode of clutter free the tornado strikes.  I have been holding on to so much because its hard to let go.  I constantly go to dollar stores or thrift stores and purchase more unnecessary stuff because possibly I am trying to fill a void. This year I intend to work towards becoming clutter free mentally, physically, emotionally, personally and spiritually.  It's time to truly let it GO!!!  I can't have a comfortable oranized space because of clutter.  I can't focus on whats important because of clutter. It's time to declutter wholistically so that the rest of my days can be the best of my days. On a mission!!!

It's never to late...

For the past several years I've felt like I have had an extended layover. Everyone has caught their flight except me.  They know where they are going and have a destination in mind.  I on the other hand have been sitting in the terminal waiting for days. No potential destination in mind starting out, no preparations made and no plan just sitting and sittin as one by one other passengers are boardin their flights.  This was only suppose to be a pit stop on my way to living out my dreams.  Did I really have dreams? Did I really know what I wanted to be when I grew up?  If I was asked 20+ years ago if I would be delayed on this flight of life I still may not have had an answer. I would have hoped that I did though like asking a child what there favorite
candy is and receiving a quick answer.  If I knew then what I know now I would hope that things would be very different.  I would have that career, that white pickett fence with the husband and 2.5 children with 2 cats and a dog and a plan for my life, but as I still sit here waiting for that flight of life this quote makes it promising that I'll board the next plan with a vision and a plan because it's never to late to be what I might have been...

A Grand Day

Today we celebrated in a grand way a woman whose deserving of that and so much more.
One hundred and two years on this earth witnessed a lot been through some things and still
remained strong to be an example for generations to come.  A strong legacy she leads and  
her mind still sharp and the love she holds deep down in her heart is priceless.  I'm proud to call her my granny and my confidant.  I am truly blessed and honored to share in another year with my grandmother here and it is by Gods grace I am able to witness the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. A Grand Day for a Grand woman of God!!!

Note 2 Self: Blank Canvas

This year I will make no resolutions because in the end they're not solutions and more than likely won't be kept any way.  This year I plan to paint a beautiful master piece on the blank canvas that's been given to me another year, another day and another chance to get it right.  The first brush stroke will be something that I have been putting off for years and that will be publishing my poems finally. This year I Press towards being a better me because in the end I am all I have and it's up to me to encourage me, take care of me and be the best me that I can be. I want to travel more, do more, see more, learn more and have more JOY because this joy that I have can't be found in people or things but from His Love for me. This year I begin on a positive note and the melody that accompanies will make the soundtrack of my life this year beautiful. I am continually learning to be content...